I don't care if you eat mosquitos, you're still creepy.

As a parent, I think your role is too kill scary spiders when your child asks you to (even if they're 19, you're still their parent!). I hate that my parents will always try to catch the spider and release it in the wild, my mom does it cause she says it's bad luck to kill them (crazy Filipino superstitions) and my dad doesn't cause well...he's an asshole and wont kill them for me. Even if they do save it's life and release it in the wild, I'm 95% sure it's gonna find a way back in to my house and lay it's gross spider eggs in me and kill me.

I hate spiders, I hate when people tell me they're good cause they eat mosquitos because wow that helps calm my fears that they are crawling all over me when I'm sleeping! No way! They are gross and furry and I'm pretty sure that they are spawned from the depths of hell. Pretty sure Satan keeps spiders instead of hamsters.

The worse is when you're sitting somewhere and one just drops right in front of your face from it's creepy web. I could die when that happens. Even worse is when you walk into one of it's webs and you don't know if it is crawling on you or not. I think that is honestly worse than torture, it is terrifying. Here's a funny comic from the oatmeal.com to make you feel better about it, even though there is nothing to make you feel better about spiders.

I wish the creepy little satan pets were never even evolved to exists, I think they should just die out. The other day one was on my window seat waiting to devour my soul. I'm never ever sitting in my window seat again, even if it is so sunny and enticing, I'm positive there are more spiders over there waiting to kill me and avenge their brother that I killed.

If I one day mysteriously disappear, it was the spiders.